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Tuna in peril as catches reach triple the limit
Times are tough for tuna as scientists' advice on managing stocks falls on deaf ears
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The Blue Room had in prehistoric times been added to by taking in a superfluous passage, and so not only had the advantage of two doors, but enabled us to get to the head of the stairs without passing the chamber wherein our dragon-aunt lay couched. It was rarely occupied, except when a casual uncle came down for the night. We entered in noiseless file, the room being plunged in darkness, except for a bright strip of moonlight on the floor, across which we must pass for our exit. On this our leading lady chose to pause, seizing the opportunity to study the hang of her new dressing-gown. Greatly satisfied thereat, she proceeded, after the feminine fashion, to peacock and to pose, pacing a minuet down the moonlit patch with an imaginary partner. This was too much for Edward's histrionic instincts, and after a moment's pause he drew his single-stick, and with flourishes meet for the occasion, strode onto the stage. A struggle ensued on approved lines, at the end of which Selina was stabbed slowly and with unction, and her corpse borne from the chamber by the ruthless cavalier. The rest of us rushed after in a clump, with capers and gesticulations of delight; the special charm of the performance lying in the necessity for its being carried out with the dumbest of dumb shows.
Once out on the dark landing, the noise of the storm without told us that we had exaggerated the necessity for silence; so, grasping the tails of each other's nightgowns even as Alpine climbers rope themselves together in perilous places, we fared stoutly down the staircase-moraine, and across the grim glacier of the hall, to where a faint glimmer from the half-open door of the drawing-room beckoned to us like friendly hostel-lights. Entering, we found that our thriftless seniors had left the sound red heart of a fire, easily coaxed into a cheerful blaze; and biscuits—a plateful—smiled at us in an encouraging sort of way, together with the halves of a lemon, already once squeezed but still suckable. The biscuits were righteously shared, the lemon segments passed from mouth to mouth; and as we squatted round the fire, its genial warmth consoling our unclad limbs, we realised that so many nocturnal perils had not been braved in vain.
"It's a funny thing," said Edward, as we chatted, "how I hate this room in the daytime. It always means having your face washed, and your hair brushed, and talking silly company talk. But to-night it's really quite jolly. Looks different, somehow."
"I never can make out," I said, "what people come here to tea for. They can have their own tea at home if they like,—they're not poor people,—with jam and things, and drink out of their saucer, and suck their fingers and enjoy themselves; but they come here from a long way off, and sit up straight with their feet off the bars of their chairs, and have one cup, and talk the same sort of stuff every time."
Selina sniffed disdainfully. "You don't know anything about it," she said. "In society you have to call on each other. It's the proper thing to do."
"Pooh! YOU'RE not in society," said Edward, politely; "and, what's more, you never will be."
"Yes, I shall, some day," retorted Selina; "but I shan't ask you to come and see me, so there!"
"Wouldn't come if you did," growled Edward.
Wave Goodbye
Yes! I finally scored an invite to that awesome new social-collaborative-chat-messaging tool! I’m gonna be surfing a wave of productivity now, man!
And thanks to my compact, portable Gateway 11.6” Netbook, I’m going to be doing it from my very favorite cupcake bakery/burlesque house. How many hip units is that worth? A million? A billion? A googol? I just wish I’d had the foresight to grow a humorous mustache.
OK, let’s fire it up…I’m in! Prepare for waving! Man, this is gonna be so much cooler than watching a streaming Netflix movie, or listening to the music I loaded onto the 250GB hard drive. And I bet it’ll be way more productive than using the netbook’s pre-loaded Microsoft Works and Microsoft Office apps. With this Netbook’s long 6-cell battery life, this wave’s gonna go on for hours!
Alright, so, wow, that’s a lot of stuff on the screen. Not very well-suited to this 11.6” LED display, but I won’t complain. I am obviously the unworthy one. So let’s see, it’s like, uh, email? I guess? That’s neat, everybody likes email. And then what’s this over here, some kind of chat thing? Hey, there’s one of the dev guys! I gotta compliment him on this awesome app! Here, let me type:
Hey, Gavin! This Wave thing really suc
Whoa, why’s he getting all hostile? I was just going to tell him that this Wave thing succeeds in meeting my expectations. How did he even know I was going to say anything? It’s almost like he could see me typing. Weird. Well, I can’t let that slow me down! I’ve got productivity to optimize!
Anyway, so what else can I do here? I’ll try setting up a document to collaborate on…but I don’t see any buttons for that. Huh. Maybe share some pictures from my trip to the Rick Astley Museum? I wonder how. Or, I know, I’ll tell people about this awesome cupcake I’m eating right now, like I do on Facebook and Twitter all the time. That’s gotta be pretty simple, right? So you do that by, uh, lemme see, well, I guess I don’t understand how that works either. Maybe if I just tap the computer screen, or bang on the keyboard, or yell into one of the three USB ports…no, nothing. Huh.
I wonder what’s on TV.
Authorized for SquareTrade Extended WarrantyWarranty: 90 Day Gateway
Features:
Additonal Photos:
In the box:
Inset photo credit: thelastminute
Linux vendor Novell is offering a new commercial add-in for Visual Studio that will allow software developers to test and package .NET applications for Linux without having to leave their Windows development environment. The new tools could potentially help boost the availability of third-party software for Linux.
Novell's Mono project, an open source implementation of the .NET runtime, makes it possible to run quite a bit of .NET software on the Linux platform. It opens up the door for .NET shops to expand their audience by making their programs available for deployment on Linux, but the additional effort involved in testing and packaging is an impediment in some cases. Novell's new Mono Tools for Visual Studio (MonoVS) add-in will help to lower the barriers and simplify the process.
In late October, a troupe of comedic pranksters called the Yes Men took on the United States Chamber of Commerce over its stance on climate change via a parody that was hard to distinguish from the real deal: a fake press conference, press releases, and a modified version of the Chamber's own website, hosted at a similar address. The Chamber responded by getting the Yes Men's ISP to pull the site, which drew the Electronic Frontier Foundation into the fight. Now, it looks like all these parties may be meeting in court, as the Chamber has filed a suit alleging that the parody crossed the line into fraud. We say "may" because the Chamber appears to be having a difficult time serving the pranksters.
The events started in April, when the Chamber triggered a series of events that could easily be considered self-parody. Its leadership filed a petition with the EPA, asking that the evidence for climate change be subjected to public hearings. After that petition was widely ignored, they upped the ante, calling for a modern equivalent of the Scopes Monkey Trial, which questioned the science behind evolution.
Six new games, several of them in 3D, have arrived on the Zune Marketplace—and they're meant to show off the power of the Zune HD's NVIDIA-built Tegra processor. They do that well enough, but even better than the graphics is the fact that these games, unlike the first batch, have some actual replay value. In other words, they're fun.
The same couldn't be said of the first round of Zune HD apps, which featured nearly unbelievable load times, simple 2D graphics, and an unfortunate tendency to make the eyes glaze over. They also came with unexpected "pre-roll" ads for products like the Kia Soul, but hey, they were free, right?
If there are any problems with the comic or website, or if you have any questions, comments, or complaints you would like to address directly to Randy, please email him at choochoobear@gmail.com.
Recently, we launched Ars Premier 2.0, our new and improved subscriber program that offers some fantastic new benefits for subscribers. Tonight sees our third insider-only feature: a live, moderated webchat with Fred von Lohmann, senior staff attorney at the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
In his role as senior staff attorney with the Electronic Frontier Foundation, Fred has become an authoritative voice specializing in intellectual property matters. He has been involved in many noteworthy cases, including the landmark MGM v. Grokster decided by the Supreme Court in 2005. Fred is also involved in EFF's efforts to educate policy-makers regarding the proper balance between intellectual property protection and the public interest in fair use, free expression, and innovation.
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11.11.09
I am going to be at the Topatoco open house this weekend, in western Mass.
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Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
BERKELEY, Calif. (UPI)—Officials at the University of California-Berkeley said volunteer students and staff rolled a record-setting 330-foot California sushi roll.
A spokesperson for the King Of All Cosmos said that if it was his roll, it would have been much bigger.
SPOKANE, Wash. (UPI)—A Washington vendor of hard-to-sell items said he is trying to sell three cars custom-built for Adolf Hitler, one for driving through war-torn streets.
In his personal specifications for the cars, Hitler insisted that the passenger seat has always historically been part of the driver’s seat, just in case the driver needed a little more lebensraum.
GENEVA, Switzerland (UPI)—Experts were trying to determine Thursday how a piece of bread made its way into the Hadron collider in Switzerland, shutting it down for a couple of days.
Scientists also removed a small sign that read “Last Exit Before Quantum Tunnel! Gas, Food, Motel”
LOS ANGELES (UPI)—Despite their long fangs, male saber-toothed tigers may have been less aggressive than other big cats of their time, researchers in California said.
New research impiles that the saber-toothed tigers were docile, intelligent, and often jumped back in the window when their loud, boisterous caveman owner was locked outside.
LONDON (UPI)—British actor Simon MacCorkindale said he was diagnosed with bowel cancer more than three years ago and it has since become terminal.
But on the plus side, Manimal is no longer the lowest point of his career.
HAIFA, Israel (UPI)—Israeli researchers say synthetic marijuana helped rats under stress recover sooner from emotional trauma.
Scientists added that the tests also led to a tiny tie-dye party, six new subscriptions to High Times magazine, and a group sing-along to "Buffalo Soldier".
ATHENS, Greece (UPI)—Greek researchers say mom was right when she said “wolfing down your food will make you fat.”
However these findings are disputed by Roman researchers, who argue that “wolfing down your food can help you and your twin brother found a city that will change the world.”
ITALY, Vatican City (UPI)—A top astronomer has told a conference in Vatican City the belief that life exists in other parts of the universe “does not clash” with Catholicism.
The Church then went on to draw a line down the center of the known Universe, giving all the planets on the left to Spain and all the planets on the right to Portugal.
Security researchers have taken down a major spam offender, though the dip in spam levels may be only temporary. Members of the FireEye security team coordinated an attack on the Mega-D botnet (also known as Ozdok) last week by preemptively registering domains meant for the botnet's command and control channels (CnCs) and shutting down others. Spam coming from Mega-D stopped almost instantly, proving that David really can take down Goliath every once in a while.
Ever since the shut-down of McColo in 2008, the brains behind spam botnets have been much smarter about diversifying their CnCs. As pointed out by a FireEye blog post, they're no longer relying on a single net of domains to control the botnet—instead, many current botnets have mechanisms in place that randomly generate the next block of domains that the zombie machines will look for once the current set is shut down, and the people controlling the CnCs just register those domains on the fly as needed.
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